Blackness

I am the moon (and I wonder if it’s because I’m black)

It’s hard to feel nowadays
Because I don’t feel anymore
It’s hard to think about my feelings right now
Because I don’t think anymore
I just lie here
Waiting
Hoping that when the sun rises
The pain will be over
I close my eyes and try to remember
The images are blurry and I can’t really see any faces
I try to awaken my emotions but sleep just chases
The only thing I feel right now is a slight tingle in my toes
Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’m black
Have I forgotten that I’m black?
Girl!
Not just black. Dark. Not just dark…
My kinky hair doesn’t flow down my back
My stretch marks run all the way up my thighs
My hands they muffle up my cries
My skin
Darker than the night sky
The moon
I am the moon
I am present in the day but I hide behind the clouds
I allow the sun to reign and I silence all my sounds
Just like that one time I let someone push me aside even though we partners
Just like that one time someone told me our relationship wasn’t real but not to worry cause I still had “a bangin’ body.”
I. AM. THE MOON.
And sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’m black.

 

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