Why do people have to die?

In the past couple months, 4 people I know or have met have died.
They’re just gone
They’re not coming back
I don’t know if I’ll see some of them again
Why do people have to die?
Why do people have to cry?
The worst is when it’s untimely. An accident. A terminal illness. Found too late. A young kid. A mother. A father. Someone who just moved. Just got married. Just had a kid.
There’s no good time to die
It hurts so much
Like even if I didn’t know the person. The fact that they are not on this earth anymore just makes me wonder
Why living is worth all the trouble anyway
If we are just going to die
Why fight?
And no don’t worry I haven’t considered suicide. It just sucks
I know what depression feels like. What depression is
I always have
I know that life on earth is so short
So brief
Yes we must make the best of it but it doesn’t take the hurt and sadness away when someone you know
You talked to
Someone who smiled at you yesterday is no more today
Like it’s crazy
It makes me want to sit on my bedroom floor and cry
Curl up in a ball and mourn for those who have passed
I don’t think I can keep losing people
I don’t know if my heart is strong enough
I don’t know if…
God, this is hard.

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