Blackness, Pain

We’re the lucky ones

We’re the lucky ones

Only just begun

Others leave too young

We are the lucky ones

Where do I even start?

I realized that if I just kept thinking and feeling

If I didn’t write

I would implode

I honestly thought this grieving thing was a momentary

I thought… well I hoped. I wished?

I wanted it to be momentary

I wanted to lay in my bed for days in January

And cry

And grieve

And heal

And try to move on as best as I could

I’m sure we all thought. We all hoped and wished

We prayed…

I did not think I would be grieving the entire year

For people I never even met

Grieving for a country with questionable morals

The land of the free…

The home of the brave?

Who wouldn’t want it to be over

For a moment I knew what it was like to fall into that dark place

It made me understand why people didn’t want to come back from it

Why do we deserve to be the ones to move on?

Why face reality?

It’s too much.

This is too much.

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